Characteristics Of A Physical Abuse & Abusers

Characteristics of phyical abuse may include the following:

-punching
-hitting
-slapping
-pulling hair
-pushing
-choking
-restraining
-kicking
-biting
-using weapons
-forcing sexual intercourse and/ or engaging in violent intercourse

Characteristics of emotional abuse:

-name calling
-insults
-lying
-playing mind games to confuse the victim
-making false accusations
-jealousy
-rage
-false accusations
-making one feel guilty or humiliated (spitting at or degrading another human being)
-manipulation
-use of intimidation
-use of male privilege
-threatening another with physical harm
-raising their hand as though they are about to slap or hit the victim

A physical abuser will minimize or deny the abuse, including making light of the situation, say the abuse never occurred or they may blame the victim. Physical abusers often have the desire to have power over others, lack empathy for those they abuse and they focus on having their own selfish needs met at the expense of others.

If you have been a victim of Domestic Violence, contact the police department immediately by dialing 9-1-1.  You can also contact your local YMCA 24 hours a day.

A Word About My Blog

You may be noticing a certain pattern in the topic of my blogs. There is a good reason for that, and no, I am not a bitter person. Maybe a little aggravated, but not bitter. I am enjoying every minute of my life and feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I finally feel free to live and be happy again. It is now time to get back to things that matter most in my life. The point of writing a blog is to expresses your feelings and thoughts freely and that is what I intend on doing. My blog is about my life and my opinion on society. Like the warning says, the blog does reflect the opinion of the writer and if you are offended by the content then do yourself a favor and simply do not read my blog. The content of my blog follows all the guidelines of Google blogs. Names and references to a particular person or persons are only mentioned in current events blogs.  I would also like to thank my loyal readers.  It's nice to know someone is listening.



With Love,

Terry

Liar, Liar.... Pants On Fire

There is one thing that really bothers me, it's when someone knows they have done something wrong, but will tell every lie possible to cover up what they have done. If you know, you have done something then, admit what you did, apologize and quietly back away without trying to take revenge on the other person you are trying to keep the truth from. If you know you have done wrong then why try to hide it? When you reach adulthood, you should be able to take responsibility for what you have done. All the lies you tell to cover up your misgivings only makes you look like a fool. It is like when a little kid is caught with their hand in the cookie jar, they make up lies or excuses for what they have done. Such as, an imaginary friend ate all the cookies. Did the imaginary friend really eat all the cookies or did you eat all the cookies? Do the lies and excuses really change what you have done? No, they don't. At some point in your life, you have to be adult enough to realize, lies do not change your actions. The actions still occurred even though you told lies to cover them. The lies don't make your actions go away. Don't forget, someone always knows the truth, therefore even though you told a lie to cover what you did. There will always be someone who knows what you did. One thing I was taught growing up is to be accountable for your own behavior and own up to your actions. You always have a choice to make whether or you realize it or not. You have the choice to do it or to not do it. That is something I try to pass along to my children. Apparently, not everyone was taught the same or we would not have the problems we have in society today or the prison system. Then there are the ones who repeatedly do the same things over and over again even though they know what they are doing is wrong but continue to do the same things regardless of the harm it may have on another person's life, then make up lies to cover their own actions. Yes, I am talking about adults here, it almost sounds like I am talking about children who do not know the difference between right and wrong.

What really kills me is when someone does something that does have a direct effect on you but claims what they do is none of your business. For example, when someone persistently has affairs that does have a direct effect on their partner. First, when you have broken your marriage vows that has a direct effect on your partner. Your vows are between you and your partner, therefore it is their business. When you are having repeated affairs, you are putting your partner's health at risk. They can be passed STD's, serious life threatening illnesses like AIDS or permanent STD's that will stay with them the rest of their life. I would say that is your partner's business. Their personal health is their business and no one else has the right to violate that right or put their health at risk to have a little fun.

A married couples personal finances is both partners business. One partner does not have the right to take money from their spouse to pay something their spouse does not feel their money should go to. Especially, when the expense is not related to running their household.

Another example, when one partner becomes physically abusive towards another that is a direct violation of their rights. No one person should ever be subjected to bodily harm from his or her spouse. These are all very serious violations of another person's rights and yes, it makes everyone of them their business. If you are not going to make a commitment then don’t make promises you have no intention on keeping and DON’T GET MARRIED!

Keeping My Fingers Crossed.

I had my final interview, I am feeling really positive about the interview. Everyone was very friendly and nice. I should hear something today or tomorrow. I can't wait to see what the future holds for me. This will finally be my opportunity to do what I love and go to work everyday an have a passion for what I do instead of just working for a paycheck.  All those years of education is finally about to payoff.

Delete, Delete, Delete......

It's not as easy as at used to be to wipe someone from your life. You used to be able just throw away their number and pictures.  Now you have to throw away their pics, delete them from your cell, your email, social networking pages, delete the pics and music in the computer, and so on. There's a lot more work to erasing someone from your life now a days.

No Tears On My Pillow

Finding Myself Again

I am feeling absolutely wonderful and positive. I never thought I would feel this good so soon. I think the last two and half years were the most difficult years of my life. Things happen for a reason and I am looking at this as an opportunity to correct the mistakes I have made. I was crushed when I lost the babies, but now I am relieved. I look at the loss as God was watching over me and taking care of me. It was never meant to be. At the time I was going thru all the miscarriages and the troubles in my marriage I didn't understand why I couldn't have a happy life. I wanted so badly to have the happy marriage and a beautiful little baby to make everything complete. As I look back, I realize I was trying to have a baby for all the wrong reasons. I wasn't trying to have a baby for me, that's not really what I wanted. I was trying to have a baby to make him happy. All the time, I was lighting my candles and praying to God to watch over me and my family, to give him strength and to help us with our troubles. I didn't understand then, but I understand now. God was watching over me. For me a family is about unconditional love, honesty, trust and to never let down the ones you love. For him it was about the picture you paint, a pretty picture without any real meaning. We were objects instead of people. To me life is about what you accomplish and the mark you leave in life and on others. I tried so hard to make things right. I just thought if I made him happy and showed him I would do almost anything to make him happy, he would change. I realize now, no matter what I did, it would never change who he is. He would never give me the love, respect and commitment that I deserve. Maybe I just look at life differently than others. A few years back, I was given 10-15 years to live, I was given a second chance, I swore that day I would never take my life for granted or the people in my life for granted. I swore I would value and cherish every moment I had to spend with the ones I love. I don't want my children growing up in a home where there is fighting and abuse. I want my children to be able to look back on their childhood memories as happy ones. You have to value your life and the lives of people in your life and hold them near and dear in your heart. Life is short and you never know when it will be over. I don't want to be one of those people laying in their death bed regretting all the mistakes they have made in their life. I tell the people in my life, I love them any chance I get because you never know if it will be your last time. I got a little lost along the way, my life wasn't supposed to be about trying to keep him happy. I know I did everything I could to try to make him happy, but no matter what I did he would never be committed to me or our marriage. My life is supposed to be about making myself happy, my children happy and the ones who love me happy. Saying "I love you" and loving someone are two different things. Saying "I love you" are just words and without the love behind the words make them meaningless.