What would men be without women? Scarce, sir … mighty scarce.
People who have what they want are very fond of telling people who
haven’t what they want that they don’t want it.
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 today and we don’t know where the hell she is.
A young man fills out an application for a job and does well until he gets to the last question, “Who Should we notify in case of an accident?” He mulls it over and then writes, “Anybody in sight!”
A good lawyer knows the law; a clever one takes the judge to lunch.
Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.
Confidence is the sexiest thing a woman can have. It’s much sexier than any body part.