Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Evaluate your marriage, you will be surprised.
The divorce rate is at an all time high. People just don't seem to have the same level of commitment that they used to have in marriages. It seems the attitude is, it's easier to get a divorce than to try and work it out. When you married that person, you must have thought "this is someone, I could spend the rest of my life with." There had to have been something about that person that you loved at one point. That quality does not disappear. You just have to get past all the bitterness to see the good again. You married them because you loved them more than you ever loved anyone else. I think sometimes people forget why they got married in the first place. Before you run to a divorce lawyer, sit down and evaluate yourself. Think "what could I have done differently or what can I do to make this marriage work?" You can not change someone else, but you change how you react to that person or change the things you do. If react calmly to situations and drop the yelling and accusations, your partner may react differently to you. Change has to start with you. It can be done, you just have to work at it. The next time you and your partner have confrontation, react calmly to the situation, evaluate if it is really worth arguing over, stop the accusations and see if they react differently. Remember, there are three sides of a story; your version, their version and the truth. One of the problems with a lot of people, they seem to think the grass is greener on the other side. In most situations, it is easier to fix your own marriage than to start over with a new set of problems or the same set of problems just with a different person. One of the things you can do, is sit down make a list of the good things your partner has done, and what is it about your partner that you love then sit down and make a list of the negative things. I can almost bet you, the good will out weigh the bad. The first step is to forgive. Can you forgive them? If you can, then do it. Sometimes, we let our pride get in the way. Don't let your pride destroy your marriage. I love my husband, he is a good man with a good heart and I couldn't imagine living my life without him and I don't want to. I bet you love your spouse the same. Maybe, you just need to remember the good times and leave the bad behind you. Remember, we are all humans and make mistakes. I'm sure if you look at yourself, you will find mistakes that you have made too.