Arbor Mist Evening

Last night was an Arbor Mist evening, before dinner! I am not normally someone who drinks in the evening at home except for when I am socializing. But yesterday, I poured me a glass of wine before dinner. My children were driving me insane. All they did was bicker back and forth over everything. I poured myself a glass of wine and my youngest says "Mom, why are you drinking that?" My 19 year old replies, "Because, you guys are driving her to drink." Then my 11 year old son says "Mom, your going to die from liver failure and when you do, I am going to tell you it's your own fault." Too funny, that shows how little I do drink around the house, they start questioning why I am drinking.

When things get crazy around here and they are doing a lot of bickering, I start deducting 15 minutes from their bedtime for every time they argue and it usually works, because they hate going to bed early and missing their favorite shows. But, last night, it didn't work! They just kept going at each other. Their bedtime is 9:30. Last night, Sammy got herself down to 8:15 and Adam got himself down to 8:30. Keep in mind they get a warning before I start deducting time. They were so angry about having to go to bed early, they refused to give me a kiss goodnight. So, I told them "I love you and I know you love me too." They just glared at me and stomped off to bed. After a few glasses of wine, I was taking the evening in stride and found it inside of myself to find the situation humorous.
I can't wait for spring to get here, so they can go outside and play, ride their bikes and play with their friends. I think they are beginning to get cabin fever. Today is a half day at school, God help me.

Stupid Drivers Drive Me Nuts

I was driving down the highway on my way home this afternoon and there was a serious two car accident blocking the road leaving only one lane open. The tow truck driver signaled for everyone to stop, so he could flip the truck over that was turned up side down. Here come along two semis driving up the side of the road, pass the stopped cars and go right past the accident. That just really pisses me off, because the lane was only partially open so the cars were to the right of the lane and he came dangerously close to side swiping me and the other car in front of me, because he was trying to squeeze between the railing and the cars. What the hell makes them think they don't have to wait like everyone else?  If I was an officer, I probably would have called it in and had them pulled over. There were enough police cars there, one of them could have done it. People amaze me, they see an accident and they practically cause another accident just to get past it. Nobody likes sitting there in traffic, but sometimes you have no choice. I am sorry, but truck drivers are notorious for driving stupid! If your a truck driver, don't take it personally. But, the people in the cars get tired of almost getting run over by trucks. We would like to make it home safely to our families.

Elton John's New Baby

By now, I am sure everyone has heard about Elton John adopting a baby. The baby was born on Christmas day by a surrogate mother. It's a beautiful little baby boy, Zachary Jackson Levon Furnish. John and Furnish said, they do not know which one is the biological father, because they both contributed. I am not opposed to gay couples adopting. They should be able to adopt, because who is to say they can't provide them with a loving home and there is a lot of children out there who need homes. The couple tried adopting two Ukranian brothers who were in a foster home, one who was HIV postive, but were denied. I think it is terribe they were denid. Think about how they could of changed those little boys lives. They could have given them happy lives, full of opportunity. The thing I am opposed to is he put the baby in an apartment next to him with a nanny and increased his staff. What is the point of having a child if your going to pay someone else to raise the child. He wants a child, but he isn't willing to make any sacrifices to have a child. I am sure the couple will have lots of love to offer their child. I just think maybe they should consider moving the child into the same apartment as them.

Getting Cozy

My silly animals love sleeping under the blankets. My little one Sammy thinks Max is a baby & treats him like one. That could be why he is a little confused.

Sasha crawls up and under the blankets to get in. I discovered a bump under my blanket and I thought I forgot a pillow in the bed when I made it. So, I stuck my hand under the blanket and jumped because there was something furry in my bed.

The Stupid Things People Do

Funny Sex Bloopers

The Craziest Sex Bloopers The ER Doctors & Nurses Have Ever Seen



PLAY BALL
"A young couple came in with this story: During sex, the woman had grabbed a medium-size rubber ball and inserted it into her man's back door. The ball became lodged so high in his rectum, they couldn't get it out... and neither could we! The attending MD paged a surgeon, but while we were waiting for him to arrive, the man began coughing. The ball came flying out of his butt with enough velocity to ping around the room and hit the just arriving surgeon in the head."

STUCK ON YOU
"One night, a gurney rolled in carrying a woman in black lingerie-who happened to be straddling a naked man. They told us that they had been doing a lot of drugs and having wild sex when the woman's vagina cramped up and the guy couldn't pull out. The doctor on duty gave her muscle relaxants, and after several minutes, they were able to separate. Then they were promptly arrested on drug charges."

TOY WITH HIM
"A guy came into our ER one night. When the doctor asked him to describe his problem, he reached into his bag, pulled out a sex-toy catalog, and pointed to a long, curved toy on one of the pages. 'I can show you what's in there,' he winked. 'Now let's see if you can get it out.' The doctor did, after leaving the room to stop laughing so hard."


HEART-STOPPING SEX
"I'll never forget the time an ambulance brought in a young slacker guy and his girlfriend. They had decided to get it on in his grandmother's basement while she was out of the house. They'd grabbed a tube of what they thought was lubricant from her wellstocked medicine cabinet.
"Unfortunately, it was nitroglycerin paste, a heart drug that can cause a potentially fatal drop in blood pressure. When Grandma came home, she found the couple lying on top of each other, unconscious and buck naked. They eventually came to after we gave them oxygen and fluids."

SPONGE-BATH SLIPUP
"When I was just starting out as a nurse, I had to give a sponge bath to an incredibly hot male patient. I tried to be very professional about it and not embarrass either one of us. But when it was time to wash his back, instead of saying 'Turn over,' I accidentally blurted out 'Move over.' He gave me a huge grin and said, 'Oh, I don't know if there's enough room, but trust me, I'll try!' "

KEYED UP
"A hysterical woman came into the ER. She'd just had a fight with her boyfriend while sitting in his parked car. She said she had gotten so mad at him that she pulled the key out of the ignition and put it in her vagina so he couldn't drive home! Now she couldn't locate the key to get it out. I couldn't find it either, so we concluded that it must have fallen out somewhere near her boyfriend's car."

GO FISH
"A man explained that his girlfriend had tried to take his temperature rectally and 'lost' the thermometer. I could actually see the glass tip poking out of his rear end, so I got a padded clamp and gently began pulling. It was a thermometer all right, but one for a fish tank-more than a foot long!"

Crazy Wedding Pics