Showing posts with label understanding. Show all posts
Showing posts with label understanding. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Batman The Dark Night Rises Massacre

It is really pathetic that the United States has come to a point they can't even take their children to the new Batman movie. My 12 year old son wants to go see the movie, but I think that will be the one he will see at home because of the fear of a copycat. I really don't understand how this man could do something as hideous as he has done.

I would hate to say it, but parents are failing their children. James Holmes has parents, somebody raised him. It is something a lot parents don't want face the truth about. Too many children are being raised without compassion and morals. We have to admit, this generation is being raised different than when we grew up. Children raise themselves with the internet, most parents try to raise their children with compassion and morals, it's just seems that too many parents do not put compassion and morals on the top of their list.  Take the computers out of the bedroom. Children from this generation feel they have the same rights as adults. However, their mind is not as mature as an adult. This generation is a generation with very little fear of authority, which is very dangerous.

James Holmes is not a child or even a teenager, but he is part of the computer generation. The internet can be a great tool to use for knowledge. But!!! It is also a very danger world that is NOT appropriate for children. There is so much going on in the internet world. Children need to monitored on the internet. If  your child is developing an obsession, nip it at the bud. I am sure Holmes parents thought his obsession with Batman was innocent, but it grew into an obsession that drove him to massacre all those people at the movie theater. His mental instability combined with the obsession drove him to do something as crazy as going to a movie theater and kill all those innocent people. Someone had to have known about his plans. He had his apartment set up as a trap. Tell me, nobody in his circle of family and friends had no idea what he was planning on doing.

Anytime my children get an obsession with something, I pull them away from it. Then before you know it the obsession fades.

I try so hard to teach my son compassion, but it is such a difficult thing to do because of the interference with school and friends teaching him he has complete freedom and to tell on your parents if they do something you are uncomfortable with something your parents are doing, tell on them and they will be punished. Things are just taken too far. Parents have of fear of punishing our children, because if a child becomes angry with you, they can go to school and tell them you punished them in inappropriate ways even if you didn't and the parents can land themselves in jail even if they haven't done anything wrong. I know people who have been arrested, spent a night in jail and on probation because their child had went to school and made up stories about them because they were angry with their parents. They almost always believe the child.

For example, look at the father who shot his daughters laptop and placed the video on YouTube. There was an outcry of people who said he violated his daughter's rights. He didn't spank her or do anything physical to her for not doing her chores. Thirty years ago, it wouldn't have been a problem. Shooting his daughters laptop landed him under investigation with children services. She should be doing her chores. You have to teach your children, they have to work for the things they want. Children now a days have a sense of entitlement, feeling their parents owe them to give them everything they want without working for it. Children need to learn to work for what they want and learn how to be responsible. If they don't learn how to work for things as children, responsibility does not grow over night when they graduate from high school. They have to learn compassion to teach them understand and hopefully it will help prevent future crimes or self destruction. If they have no compassion as a child, they will never have it as an adult. They have to understand their actions affect others.

How are children going to grow up and have sufficient life skills to care for themselves and to become a productive member of society if they are not taught to work for the things they want. Doing chores is how they learn to take care of themselves. When they get their own place, they need to know how to cook, clean and how to support themselves. If they are not taught compassion as a child, how are they going to have compassion as adults.

It is too late for James Holmes, he is looking at the death penalty. Now it is too late for all the people he killed. But, it is not too late for your children. Their lives and the lives on others rely on us doing our jobs as parents. 

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Just Ask Diane...

I went out with my husband and friends Saturday night. The bar got really hot, so I went outside to get some air. As I am sitting there on the bench, I watched the couples as they walk out of the bar. Almost half of the couples came out either looking angry or was arguing. Oh, and let's not forget the occasional drunk or some what drunk husband walking around the parking lot looking for his drunk wife, who is off puking somewhere.

Listen, drinking to relax and have fun is one thing, but when did puking in a dirty bathroom stall or off in the parking lot somewhere become fun? Just about everyone is guilty of having their own "I don't remember" drunk moments. Somewhere along the line the drunk moments have to come to an end.

My second issue is, all of the couples coming out of the bar arguing. Why are you going to go out to a bar with your partner if your just going to argue when you both get there. Why not just say, I won't go with you to the bar, because we argue every time we go. Go out to dinner instead. Please people stop being so damn petty in your relationships that you argue in your relationship over everything. Men cannot read our minds as we cannot read their minds. You have to tell them how you feel. Men and women operate on two different levels. The woman is the nurturer and the man is the provider. The problem now a days is the couples clash, because the women have also become the providers and still play the role of the nurturer. Women are feeling exhausted and beaten down and the male doesn't have the understanding of the stress being put on the woman for having to play two roles. Therefore, she ends up trying to make him understand him in a way that doesn't work and he is resenting her for it.

Relationships 101: The Basics of  Successful Relationships

Respect one another. Respect your partner's needs and desires. Treat them as you would wish to be treated and nothing less. Be there when they need you and more. Compromise, someone needs to bend, So, stop trying to win and that means both of you stop trying to be the winner. Pick your battles. Save your battles for the important issues. Talk to one another, not at one another. Not only hear what your partner is saying, listen to the what they are saying. Most importantly, don't forget who you fell in love with and why. If neither of those options work for you, then you have some self evaluating to do. Just don't forget, someone has to take the first step forward


And...there you have the story of Jack and Diane. Love the song, but I wouldn't want to live the life. 







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