"The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and look comfortable." ~ Lane Olinhouse
"When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out." ~ Erma Bombeck
"Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope." ~ Bill Cosby
"You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance." ~ Franklin P. Jones
"Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own." ~ Doug Larson.
"It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawnmower, snowblower or vacuum cleaner." ~ Ben Bergor
"Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath, and hope we've set aside enough money to pay for our kids' therapy." ~ Michelle Pfeiffer
"The truth is that parents are not really interested in justice. They just want quiet." ~ Bill Cosby
"Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare." ~ Ed Asner
"Think of stretch marks as pregnancy service stripes." ~ Joyce Armor
"When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out." ~ Erma Bombeck
"Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope." ~ Bill Cosby
"You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance." ~ Franklin P. Jones
"Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own." ~ Doug Larson.
"It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawnmower, snowblower or vacuum cleaner." ~ Ben Bergor
"Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath, and hope we've set aside enough money to pay for our kids' therapy." ~ Michelle Pfeiffer
"The truth is that parents are not really interested in justice. They just want quiet." ~ Bill Cosby
"Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare." ~ Ed Asner
"Think of stretch marks as pregnancy service stripes." ~ Joyce Armor
