It is really pathetic that the United States has come to a point they can't even take their children to the new Batman movie. My 12 year old son wants to go see the movie, but I think that will be the one he will see at home because of the fear of a copycat. I really don't understand how this man could do something as hideous as he has done.
I would hate to say it, but parents are failing their children. James Holmes has parents, somebody raised him. It is something a lot parents don't want face the truth about. Too many children are being raised without compassion and morals. We have to admit, this generation is being raised different than when we grew up. Children raise themselves with the internet, most parents try to raise their children with compassion and morals, it's just seems that too many parents do not put compassion and morals on the top of their list. Take the computers out of the bedroom. Children from this generation feel they have the same rights as adults. However, their mind is not as mature as an adult. This generation is a generation with very little fear of authority, which is very dangerous.
James Holmes is not a child or even a teenager, but he is part of the computer generation. The internet can be a great tool to use for knowledge. But!!! It is also a very danger world that is NOT appropriate for children. There is so much going on in the internet world. Children need to monitored on the internet. If your child is developing an obsession, nip it at the bud. I am sure Holmes parents thought his obsession with Batman was innocent, but it grew into an obsession that drove him to massacre all those people at the movie theater. His mental instability combined with the obsession drove him to do something as crazy as going to a movie theater and kill all those innocent people. Someone had to have known about his plans. He had his apartment set up as a trap. Tell me, nobody in his circle of family and friends had no idea what he was planning on doing.
Anytime my children get an obsession with something, I pull them away from it. Then before you know it the obsession fades.
I try so hard to teach my son compassion, but it is such a difficult thing to do because of the interference with school and friends teaching him he has complete freedom and to tell on your parents if they do something you are uncomfortable with something your parents are doing, tell on them and they will be punished. Things are just taken too far. Parents have of fear of punishing our children, because if a child becomes angry with you, they can go to school and tell them you punished them in inappropriate ways even if you didn't and the parents can land themselves in jail even if they haven't done anything wrong. I know people who have been arrested, spent a night in jail and on probation because their child had went to school and made up stories about them because they were angry with their parents. They almost always believe the child.
For example, look at the father who shot his daughters laptop and placed the video on YouTube. There was an outcry of people who said he violated his daughter's rights. He didn't spank her or do anything physical to her for not doing her chores. Thirty years ago, it wouldn't have been a problem. Shooting his daughters laptop landed him under investigation with children services. She should be doing her chores. You have to teach your children, they have to work for the things they want. Children now a days have a sense of entitlement, feeling their parents owe them to give them everything they want without working for it. Children need to learn to work for what they want and learn how to be responsible. If they don't learn how to work for things as children, responsibility does not grow over night when they graduate from high school. They have to learn compassion to teach them understand and hopefully it will help prevent future crimes or self destruction. If they have no compassion as a child, they will never have it as an adult. They have to understand their actions affect others.
How are children going to grow up and have sufficient life skills to care for themselves and to become a productive member of society if they are not taught to work for the things they want. Doing chores is how they learn to take care of themselves. When they get their own place, they need to know how to cook, clean and how to support themselves. If they are not taught compassion as a child, how are they going to have compassion as adults.
It is too late for James Holmes, he is looking at the death penalty. Now it is too late for all the people he killed. But, it is not too late for your children. Their lives and the lives on others rely on us doing our jobs as parents.
I would hate to say it, but parents are failing their children. James Holmes has parents, somebody raised him. It is something a lot parents don't want face the truth about. Too many children are being raised without compassion and morals. We have to admit, this generation is being raised different than when we grew up. Children raise themselves with the internet, most parents try to raise their children with compassion and morals, it's just seems that too many parents do not put compassion and morals on the top of their list. Take the computers out of the bedroom. Children from this generation feel they have the same rights as adults. However, their mind is not as mature as an adult. This generation is a generation with very little fear of authority, which is very dangerous.
James Holmes is not a child or even a teenager, but he is part of the computer generation. The internet can be a great tool to use for knowledge. But!!! It is also a very danger world that is NOT appropriate for children. There is so much going on in the internet world. Children need to monitored on the internet. If your child is developing an obsession, nip it at the bud. I am sure Holmes parents thought his obsession with Batman was innocent, but it grew into an obsession that drove him to massacre all those people at the movie theater. His mental instability combined with the obsession drove him to do something as crazy as going to a movie theater and kill all those innocent people. Someone had to have known about his plans. He had his apartment set up as a trap. Tell me, nobody in his circle of family and friends had no idea what he was planning on doing.
Anytime my children get an obsession with something, I pull them away from it. Then before you know it the obsession fades.
I try so hard to teach my son compassion, but it is such a difficult thing to do because of the interference with school and friends teaching him he has complete freedom and to tell on your parents if they do something you are uncomfortable with something your parents are doing, tell on them and they will be punished. Things are just taken too far. Parents have of fear of punishing our children, because if a child becomes angry with you, they can go to school and tell them you punished them in inappropriate ways even if you didn't and the parents can land themselves in jail even if they haven't done anything wrong. I know people who have been arrested, spent a night in jail and on probation because their child had went to school and made up stories about them because they were angry with their parents. They almost always believe the child.
For example, look at the father who shot his daughters laptop and placed the video on YouTube. There was an outcry of people who said he violated his daughter's rights. He didn't spank her or do anything physical to her for not doing her chores. Thirty years ago, it wouldn't have been a problem. Shooting his daughters laptop landed him under investigation with children services. She should be doing her chores. You have to teach your children, they have to work for the things they want. Children now a days have a sense of entitlement, feeling their parents owe them to give them everything they want without working for it. Children need to learn to work for what they want and learn how to be responsible. If they don't learn how to work for things as children, responsibility does not grow over night when they graduate from high school. They have to learn compassion to teach them understand and hopefully it will help prevent future crimes or self destruction. If they have no compassion as a child, they will never have it as an adult. They have to understand their actions affect others.
How are children going to grow up and have sufficient life skills to care for themselves and to become a productive member of society if they are not taught to work for the things they want. Doing chores is how they learn to take care of themselves. When they get their own place, they need to know how to cook, clean and how to support themselves. If they are not taught compassion as a child, how are they going to have compassion as adults.
It is too late for James Holmes, he is looking at the death penalty. Now it is too late for all the people he killed. But, it is not too late for your children. Their lives and the lives on others rely on us doing our jobs as parents.
Very, very well-written. My son goes to Virginia Tech so you can imagine my fear whenever he jumps in his car to head south.
ReplyDeleteNow I have to worry when he goes to a movie.
Oh...my.
Thank you, I can only imaging how terrified you were.
DeleteThis was well-written. I'm not a parent, but I can only imagine the fear. If you don't mind though, I don't think you should let your fear rule your life. Scary things happen like this. It's horrible and nothing can excuse it. But I don't think that living that way - not letting your son go to see that movie when he's excited about it because of the shooting, or not wanting him to go to VT because of that shooting, or not wanting him to get on a plane because of 9/11 - is beneficial to YOU as a mom or your children. I really hope you don't take this as me attacking your choices because I respect your feelings on this as a person and parent, I'm just suggesting that God always provides and doesn't want us to live in fear. You'll do yourself more harm that way :(
ReplyDeleteNo, I don't take it as an attack. I do allow them freedom to go places with their friends. But, when it comes to something like this where there has already been someone considering doing a copycat who had an apartment full of guns, I think this one is one we won't take a chance on and let him watch the movie at home. It just doesn't seem worth it over a movie.
DeleteThe world would be a better place if more people felt like you (and I) do.
ReplyDeleteI found you on the blog hop...
Thank you very much. :)
DeleteI can totally understand a parent being uncomfortable letting their kids go to the movies for a while. I know we can't live our lives in fear, but whenever something like this happens, there are others who are watching who are just a sick, who get ideas in their head. It's natural for a parent to want to protect their kids.
ReplyDeleteI don't think I'd let mine go for a while either.
My parents didn't let me go to the mall without an adult until I was about 14 and even then they were a little iffy about it. I will likely be the same. Our mall has become so trashy and there are a lot of gangs around there, it never use to be that way, it use to be a nice place to shop. Very peaceful. I'm uncomfortable going there and it's been at least a year. I certainly would not go by myself. So, I highly doubt I will let my kids go, unless it goes back to the way it use to be.
It would be tough. You just don't know what's going to happen, when your child walks out that door, it would be very scary!
I'm with you though Mrs. E, I'm not blaming his parents, but how did they not know? They just announced a few days ago, he was in psyciatric care. So, obviously, they knew more than they claim. They knew something was off.
When I heard about this, I had almost the same reaction and the same feeling I had on 9-11: that cold, empty feeling and a state of shock. It left me speechless and angry. Murder is a horrible thing, but I absolutely hate child killers and pedofiles!
I cannot stop thinking about that 6 year old little girl and her mom and that picture of her dad after it occurred. It breaks my heart every time I see that picture.
I refuse to even say this guys name though, I just refer to him as a monster or "Dirtbag" and I honestly think they need to quit showing his picture so much. They are giving him exactly what he wants, people like that want to be famous. He's getting way too much exposure!
This is an excellent post and you are exactly on the money on everything you said. Parents need to wake up and the government needs to butt out of our lives and let us parent the way we are suppose to.
And, they aren't going to stay that age forever, they will grow up at some point and will need to leave the nest. You gotta prepare them long before that happens or their going to be screwed when they get out there in the real world.
I'm not a parent yet, but plan to be some day and I have a feeling I am going to be a total basket case when they get to their teens and twenties. I'm looking foward to it, but I know I'm going to be terrified!
Anyway, awesome post. I admire how passionate you are on this subject.
Sarah
http://skylarinc.blogspot.com/
Thank you very much. It is scary to have children in this world with all of the dangers that are out there. The Metro Detroit area has children disappearing all the time and are never found. But, with the sex trade industry so big up here, it's like you already know where they went.
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